Well i am going to dive right into this just to get it over and done with so yeah....

I am currently not dating Beth(the one you met at heather's b-day) yet we do act couple like at times. The reason we are not dating is because...well there are a few things:
1. there is another guy she was kinda seeing before me that is still around
2. she didn't want me to become a rebound guy cause her last actual bf hurt her
3. she has a hard time letting people get close cause they tend to leave
4. she has Neutropenia(i believe that's the right one) and has to go for surgery and that is an additive to her stress levels. I guess she just dosen't want someone freaking out about that or something. But i do know its on her mind a lot so she is stressed out about it atm.

Yet despite all this i am still around. The rebound thing i don't think i have to worry about so far it seems she pretty much is just using that as an excuse atm cause if all the stress. And the other guy I have basically have one up-ed him on several occasions from what she has said(and her bff) so i dont have to worry about the prick(who is also trying to get me to treat the whole thing like a game)

As for #3, we seem to be getting closer which i like and i think she is scared of a bit.
We both talked about our feeling towards each other a bit and we are too damn alike in some ways. which is a good/bad thing since we seem to react the same way. I dunno when I am with her I am nervous, quiet, calm, comfortable, excited, happy, and i dunno it just feels right when were alone or when were with other people. And when she talks about her paralegal and cheer leading I can see the passion in her eyes about it and it just makes me smile and look at her and pretty much say "i am envious of you and your passion towards this and it makes you soooo much more hot(originally was attractive but come on its me).

But in another aspect I am worried about getting to attached and things not turning out that way i would like it too. She told me that after Christmas she would decide who she was going to pick and I am worried its not going to be me. She has plans to go to Jasper with the other guy and his family, which were made before i stepped into the picture. So i kinda worry that he is going to some how sweep her off her feet while there. Its been awhile since i let myself even try to let anyone in and with her she just kicked down so many barriers so fast i am overwhelmed and don't know what to do...

I just felt like I had to get this off my chest somewhat. It something new I am trying. After I went threw my dumbass stage the year prior i have been trying to rebuild the pieces I broke. As some of you know I am not quite so open to talking about my own problems in detail until as of late. Its one of the things i am trying to fix. but it is hard for me to really go into my inner turmoils. I am used to being the up beat positive guy that everyone can come talk to. Which I love that I can be there for a lot of you. But I tend to put my own personal problems on shelf and store it away. So much to the fact that i had a few anxiety attacks and was on pills for them. which totally fucked me up worse and sent me into a minor depression. but this was about a year and a half ago now. I am not on any pills and have smarted up and got my life in order, but my past actions still haunt me and every day I am afraid to fall back into that life style i was in not long ago.

but thats all i am going to say now cause i drifted onto a topic i wasn't intending on going on too....
I guess i just hope that "speaking" this out loud will help me open up to you guys more. Your my friends and I love you all and I should be able to come talk to you guys to about my own personal problems(well to a certain point).

i hate my mind sometimes. yes it works in crazy waves of logic, emotion, and other type things. I have the tendency to let my mind wander and go in-depth about certain scenarios and stuff like that. Epically when it comes to things that are on my mind. As much as i try not to focus on it in the end i just dwell on it even more. so FACK! I hate all this shit going on. I need to focus rather on school then this personal stuff. yeah so basically i just needed to go in to a shitly wrote rant to vent some of my frustrations.... so i got class in 6hrs so nighty nite

July 8th: 11-4

July 9th: 2-7

July 10th: 3-10 at goldeyes

July 11th: 4-7:30 at goldeyes

July 12th: 11:4

July 13th: off

July 14th: 11:30-7 and 1504 st marys

yay almost 3 weeks without a day off

Wed 20: 11-6
Thur 21: 4-9
Fri 22: 12-7
Sat 23: 5-10:15
Sun 24: off
Mon 25: 11-3
Tue 26: off

Wed 15: 11-7 680 st annes
Thur 16: 1:30-8
Fri 17: off
sat 18: 4-7
sun 19: 2:30-7
Mon 20: off
Tues 21: off

Wed: 5-11:30
Thur: 4-7
Fri: 5-12:30
Sat: 5-12:30
Sun: 5-11:30 at 680 st.annes
Mon: off
Tues: 5-11:30

Wed: 11:30-3
Thur: 5-11:30
Fri: 4-8
Sat: 5-12:30
Sun: 11:30-7
Mon: off
Tue: 4-11:30

Wed: 11-7
Thur: off
Fri: 5-12:30
Sat: 5-12:30
Sun: 5-10:30
Mon: off
Tue: 3-7

Well I am off to Mexico tomorrow so i bid you all good byes till i get back which is the 8th of feb. Cyas when i get back!

If you jumped out your bedroom window right now, how injured would you get?
Umm maybe twist my ankle or hit my head on the roof

Who was the last person to text you?
Probably Sarah Scott

Do you like sneezing, or do you hate the feeling?
I hate it cause it hurt me ead

What was the last thing you had to drink?
Coke cause it rocks

Would you ever want a pet llama?
That would be soooooo sweet

Do you like those pants with words on the bum?
Don't mind them gives me something to read while checking out there arse

Who was the last person you talked to on the phone?
My mother

What colour are you going to paint your nails next?
Neon green cause i am cool like that

When was the last time you cried?
Last year sometime

What are you doing right now?
Sitting in my underwear doing this.

How's your brother doing today?
Dunno haven't seen him

Do fish make good pets?
They are nice to look at.

Have you ever had to share a room?
when i was little most of the time and for a couple of months when we lived at my aunts

When you go to university/college, are you going to live in residence?
No.

Why are so many people interested in photography these days?
Cause we like pretty things?

Do you like Kanye West?
FUCKING DAFT PUNK BITCH!

Is your dad an all-around handyman?
Yes until his back go's and i have to do it

Do you like ice cream cake?
mmmm ice cream cake

What was your funniest experience with an animal?
When Jasmin was a pup he toung would hang out and you could hit and and make it go from either side of her mouth

Did you know that 23 is David Beckham's number?
Dont care the Americanize prick

Do you know how much effort it takes to think up all these questions?
As much effort as i am putting into answering them

Are you high right now?
well i am sitting on a chair i guess that could be high off the ground

Are you in high school?
Yes and i am cheerleader

Are you currently single?
At the moment i see my self as living a Bachelor life

What's your favorite number?
9 cause is always the biggest

Do you like to go to dances?
If i am in the mood to shake my thang

What color is your shirt?
red

What kind of cell phone do you own?
Samsung

Would you ever date someone who was on a sports team?
Depends on the sport

Who's car were you last in that wasn't family?
A cab

When's the last time you showered?
1:30pm today

What are you excited for?
BEER! and Rise of the Lycans

Do you like raking leaves?
....I like raking....oh wait leaves

What about jumping in big piles of leaves?
not really it hurts when i hit the ground

What song are you listening to?
Family Band by da hip

Your current feeling?
Sweaty

Your bestfriend likes your last ex, you say?
LOL which one? and at what time?

Have you ever dated someone longer than a year?
Yes and i am still trying to figure out why

What color are your eyes?
Blue as an ocean

So you wear your seat belt in the car?
most of the time or the car will yell at me

Will you talk to someone on the phone tonight?
Dunno maybe

Do you get mad easily?
Depends if you push the right buttons

Where do you see yourself in the next 2 years?
Better job and dating someone and almost done school

Have you ever liked someone younger than you?
yeah

What woke you up this morning?
My cell phone, i got a texted

Do you take compliments well?
I shrug them off and try to figure out what the want.

Last thing you ate?
BBQ lean pork

Do you prefer to take showers at night or in the morning?
Morning so i can relax

How many letters are in your last name?
6

Do you think relationships are ever really worth it?
Yeah

Do you think you have made a difference in anyones life?
Yes In everyone's life cause i am that good

Last time you had an alcoholic beverage?
Beer yesterday

How do you know the people you were last in a car with?
they are my family

What is something you disliked about your day?
SoB customer that we all hate

Have you kissed anyone whose name started with a W?
hmmm a W.......nope i dont think so but there are a couple i didnt even know there names

Did you wake up in the middle of the night last night?
no i went to bed a 5am

Have you talked to your number one?
do i even have a #1?

Do you think you'll be married in 5 years?
Would like to be or at least engaged

Where did you last sleep besides your house?
umm i think....at one of my buddy's apparment

Have you ever been called a bitch?
Yes, but then i called them a Fizzel

What's your favourite movie?
Dances with wolves

Do you believe everyone has a soul mate?
I think we have a few soul mates not just one

Is there a guy that knows everything about you?
nope its impossible

Have you told anybody you love them today?
Umm i think Amber O at my work

Has anyone told you they loved you today?
A few people

Do you fall for people easily?
no.

Are you better at math or art?
Math

Would you share your drink with a stranger?
Depends are they hot?

Are you mean?
When i want to be.

Did you date anyone this summer?
yup

What were you doing 30 minutes ago?
was at work

Will this weekend be a good one?
I hope things go as i want them too

Do you have tattoos and piercings?
1 tat 2 pierc

What's bothering you right now?
I gotta take a shat

Would you rather stay at other people's houses or have them stay at yours?
Stay over

Do you want to be married right now?
Nope

Is there anyone who understands your relationship status?
wa?

So I just finshed watching the new bond movie, it was pretty good i enjoyed it. But there was one thing i noticed. the new james bond like to jump alot. Even in the first one he is jumping here and there. it seems to be his trade mark. someones goign to shot me better jump over there instead of running behind something or shoot him first and it seems daniel crag(the new bond) dose alot more actual physical fighting and barely shoots anyone unlike previous bonds. I guess when they decide to re-make bond they re-did alot more than people would think they would.

:o and thats my 2 cents on the new bond flick.

spme I am sitting here alittle intoxicated(lawl alittle) after coming home from ny night out, I am alittle disopointed that i drank to much so i didnt get to stop by noells and seesome of your guys. But ,,,,,fuck as tyoung this i forgot the profound thing...well not nessciarly profound thing but relavant thing enought to put onto facebook. I must aplude my self on tpying this all with no vison cprrextion at all. and sit i thoght i hsf dome thing to dsa and now i forgot.... bit i mdt ds y O feel s o alone...slonr rnoigh to cry domewhat tomysek nothing can be done but myslef either improvinb-g on it or doing something about it.

I dont like having a puzzle that i know theres an anwser to. most of the time i can go w/e it maybe to hard for me or i'll just get it later. But right now i started a puzzle that i want to finish or to keep on exploring. Just that i dont have the oppertunaty to work on it. It just that it's sitting in the back of my mind like an itch that needs to be scratched.

Yes thats right kiddos! The seasons are changing the once lovey weather has changed into the cold and wind fall weather it gets darker earlier and lighter earlier as well(which means my sleep pattern is screwed!) And I am sitting at home and I thought all of a suddon " I want to listen to some whitesnake and the beach boys!!"so i set off to my computer to add them on to my Ipod to listen to and try to fall a sleep to. But also i want all of you to list your top Fav 5 songs and your top 5 most hated songs. and yes i am giving no reason why just do it!

Top 5 fav:
1)Life is a highway- Tom Cochrane
2)All around the world- Oasis
3)Home for a rest- Great Big Sea
4)Last Kiss- R.E.M.
5)Can't be held responsible- The Wallflowers

Top 5 HATED:
1)My humps- Black eyed peas
2)Opps I did it again- Britney Spears
3)I'm like a bird- Nelly Furtado
4)Rape Me- Nirvana
5)Sanatrium- Metalica

Wed 22: 4-11:30
Thur 23: 4-11:30
Fri 24: off
Sat 25: 12-8
Sun 26: off
Mon 27: 11:30-3
Tue 28: off

Wed 15: 4-11:30
Thur 16: 5-11:30
Fri 17: 11:30-4
Sat 18: 12-8
Sun 19: 5-10:30
Mon 20: off
Tue 21: 5-11:30

Friday 10th: OFF
Sat 11th: 12-8
Sun 12th: 12-3
Mon 13th: 4:30-9:30
Tue 14th: off

well as i got home i forgot when i work but these dates.
Wed: 4-11:30
Thurs: 4or5-11:30
Fri: off but steven is thinking of doing shit for his b-day
Sat: 12-8 but family thanksgiving
Sun: i know i work but dont know till when
Mon: ???????
Tues:????????

sooooooooooooooo i am bored and tired but more bored than tired. And i still have a number of things i need to do but keep putting off, which sucks ass. And i dont know really any point to this post other than taking up some minutes in the night. but that is all cause i really dont know what else to say. NN ttyl cya byez byebye bubye chao aloha

wed 24: 11-7
thur 25: 5-11:30
fri 26: 11:30-4
sat 27: 12-4
sun 28: 3-7:30
mon 29: off
tue 30: off